June 10, 2012
Another day, another candle. We’re on to the second week since we lost contact with Ryan (and Neil). I must admit the increasingly smelly, giant wildfire a few miles outside town has proven a distraction sufficient to keep me from thinking much about other stuff, but Ryan and Neil don’t get off the hook that easily. What do I turn to when I don’t want netflix to interfere with my streaming fire/EMS radio station broadcasts? Well, Celtic Thunder DVD’s of course. So, the sky has filled with smoke and ash, a wall of smoke and flame is growing and shifting just a few miles outside town, and Ryan and Neil remained in my thoughts alongside all those ‘what happens if the fire gets to town?’ thoughts. Needless to say, my DVD’s will be coming with me if by some chance the city burns down. In the meantime, I hope everyone is well and safe. Maybe Ryan can get well in time for him and Neil to do an “Acoustic by Giant Wildfire Light” show in Fort Collins? It should be fairly bright and theatrical-looking outside for a few nights yet.
June 11, 2012
Some flameless candles tonight, again with thoughts for Mr. Ryan Kelly. I figure with the giant blaze just 5-6 miles away tonight, maybe some flameless candles would tempt the Universe a bit less than real ones. For good measure though, I added one of the more peculiar real candles I found while hunting them online. So Ryan can take his pick, I guess as to which one he prefers, and Neil can have the other one. I am missing both of them online. If nothing had happened to Ryan we might have had Neil on for a video chat or something by now, since this is about the point when he usually would be getting twitchy from fan-withdrawal :) So now all of us fans are getting generalized CT withdrawal, Neil Byrne withdrawal, and Ryan Kelly withdrawal all at once. I hope rehearsals are going well for Neil and the rest of the guys, and that Ryan is steadily recovering. Sadly, Atlantic City is way too long a walk from my apartment, but I am glad that at least some fans will get to see the guys in person in a few weeks. And if Ryan can miraculously be back in the act by the 28th, the way he was miraculously back for the fall tour last fall, that would be truly wonderful for everyone.
June 12, 2012
Tonight’s candle, once again with thoughts going out to Ryan Kelly. I had thought tonight I would ramble about the guilt that comes with moving on, that feeling that edges into the back of the skull when you find yourself enjoying something or concentrating on something else besides the absence of the one you’ve been loving and missing. Being just a fan, and one who has not yet ever met Ryan in person, I must admit to my non-fan friends that it might seem a bit silly posting these candles every night. There is a 43,000 acre fire now burning less than 4 miles away from where I am sitting, and there are so many ‘real’ things going on here in Colorado. Surely one man, practically a complete stranger, in some hospital in Northern Ireland- a man no one has seen fit to update any fans about since he was hospitalized- surely such a man could not be so important now. Only, he is still important. He’s someone I have cared about and admired for several years now, and thanks to social media, I could never consider him a complete stranger. And, for whatever reason, even if I am thinking about other things now, there is still an odd sort of space in my mind where I know there is something wrong with the world because I know Ryan has not yet returned to us. The fire outside could magically dwindle away by morning and the world would still be fundamentally wrong so long as I don’t know Ryan is ok.
June 12, 2012
As some might have noted, I left Neil Byrne conspicuously out of my candle tonight. I do still worry a bit about him. The fact that he has still not tweeted anything yet fits in nicely with what I expected, given what I could know of him as a distant fan. But as far as we know, he’s not hospitalized, so rather than candles, maybe just daily thoughts would be more appropriate, from me anyway. But he gets his own posts, because he and Ryan are both my favorite CT guys. I’ve never been inclined to choose between them (I fell for Neil watching him on the drums on Raggle Taggle Gypsy, same summer as I fell for Ryan), so Neil need not tag along as a rider on posts for Ryan now. :)
June 13, 2012
Another night, another candle for Ryan. I can see why Ryan liked posting his Christmas trees last year, though yes, I know, these candles are a sort of social media vigil thing and thus NOT ABOUT FUN. Still, finding a candle every night, and tapping into the day’s thoughts about Ryan to find the ones that belong with the night’s candle is becoming a rather nice ritual. I suppose, really, a lot of what we do when a loved one is in hospital is for us, not for the one who is hospitalized, and I know other fans see my posts, even if the Universe is paying no attention, and even if Ryan never sees any of them. (Actually that might be rather embarrassing. It’s cool to say how much someone really means to you when they are out of earshot, but if they find out you’re saying gushy emotion-laden stuff about them… Don’t be surprised if my fan blog becomes suddenly a few posts shorter whenever he returns.) Still, while he is safely out of earshot- I still miss Ryan Kelly, a lot. I hate to use the word ‘love’ still, cause the meaning of that word is so complicated and easy to misunderstand, but the Universe is not likely to misconstrue what I am saying here. I miss him and I love him and I will continue to post candles for Ryan Kelly until I know he is well. even if he were to stay gone for years, I am stubborn enough to not forget him while he’s away. I just hope there will be enough candles.
June 14, 2012
It seemed appropriate tonight to post a lovely photo of prayer candles at the Duomo in Milan (not my pic of course). If prayer has any effect on the outcome of this vigil, then Ryan has certainly received a massive dose of prayer today. Simultaneously with the mass that was held in Moy for him today, people throughout the rest of his global community were also praying for him, all that multitude of minds all drawn together around one man. Ryan Kelly is clearly a very special human being, and after today the Universe can hardly be unaware of Ryan’s value. But, our thoughts and prayers are with him always, underlying all else, until we hear from him again that he is back. And then our thoughts and prayers will still be with him, as someone we have had almost two weeks to contemplate losing. If we appreciated him before, we all know now just how much we really love and value him, and we’re not likely to forget once he is back on his feet. May the Universe please let us have our Ryan back, so he can enjoy many more years of life among his many loving friends, fans and supporters.
[If prayer and thoughts have any power whatsoever, and even if they don't, the simultaneous mass/prayer time that occurred on the 14th was one of those examples of how really cool social media can be. I am not sure who told the fans on twitter, but in any case, when mass began in Moy for Ryan there were people around the world who were also praying or otherwise sending their thoughts and love into the Universe for him.]
June 15, 2012
Oh, Ryan, I do wish tonight’s candle had not been necessary, but that said, I have been looking forward to posting this one for you ever since I found the pics of these beer candles on Monday. They seem the perfect candles for a Friday night. In fact, since it is coming on to 2 weeks almost since whatever it was happened to you, I imagine just about everyone around you is due for one of these, or for a wetter and tastier version of the same. (I doubt gel candles taste very good, even after a few drinks.) I hope that we will hear good news about you soon, before we actually hit the 2 week mark, but in any case, there are candles/drinks/thoughts enough for everyone tonight. :)
May you live as long as you want to and never want as long as you live.
June 16, 2012
Well, so it has been a whole 2 weeks since I last heard anything from the gorgeous Mr. Ryan Kelly, and still there has been no news posted anywhere as to what happened or what his current condition is. Watching youtube videos of the Acoustic by Candlelight tour this week, it is hard to imagine that happy, rather lively man behind the microphone being hospitalized, let alone incapacitated enough to be unable to tweet greetings. Perhaps those around him who know his condition are equally floored by the idea, not yet willing to post anything, because that first posting would make real what would otherwise seem just a terrible nightmare from which they might still wake.
I hope the nightmare ends and we all wake up long before I run out of good candle photos I can scavenge online. I’ll find enough suitable candles somehow or another, but just so you know, Ryan, if I have to start frequenting churches again to get good candle pictures, you’re gonna owe me one hell of a hug when you get to Denver, m’dear. :)
June 17, 2012
It’s odd how draining it can be just posting pictures of candles every night, but it is definitely time for a picture of the lovely Ryan Kelly, as a wee antidote to the melancholy of knowing I’ll likely be posting a new candle again tomorrow. I vacillated between posting one of him in his work clothes and hunting down the video from that last late night online chat he did with us, for a groggy ‘real person’ photo. But, while I think he is adorable when he’s staying up too late nursing his tea and talking at his computer, I suppose those aren’t exactly flattering shots. It’s hard to imagine that candles, prayers, or anything else we do could be of any use, if it’s been this long and nothing’s any better, but nothing lasts forever. Sometime we will hear news, hopefully not bad news, and until then there’ll be candles at the raven mount blog every night.
[End of Week 2]